Mia's Love Offerings
In this 3 part video series, Mia introduces you to her work and takes you through some of her favorite self-love practices.
Until You Grow Your Own Wings
If lovelessness were just about feeling better in your own skin, we could solve this thing in a day.
Not really. But by comparison, it would be incredibly easy because lovelessness is actually a systemic problem. It affects all aspects of our lives. When we come from a background of lovelessness, no one ever taught us to love ourselves. Certainly, no one ever modeled self-love to us.
Truthfully, those charged with loving us may not have even know much about love. Or if they know about loving us, they might not know about self-love.
Let me show you what I mean ...
Imagine, you are about to be born.
It's getting pretty tight in there and you can feel the tension in your mother's emotions rising. Something about this tension feels decidedly unwelcoming. You feel panicked. It's not the hormones or the contractions. Or at least not just that. It's not just the first gust of cold air against the crown of your head either. You have the distinct feeling something is wrong. When you come out, the nurse whisks you away to the nursery. Or maybe someone was there, physically, but you felt they weren't really there FOR you.
In fact, just arriving in a new place, where you can't speak, understand, or fend for yourself is an incredible strain. If you are not properly welcomed, the trauma of birth itself is deepened and can quickly become entrenched as lovelessness.
Whatever the case, you didn't get the love you needed in that moment of transition. There was no warm and welcoming bosom against which to nuzzle your tiny head. There were no strong hands to hold you.
You didn't understand it at the time, but now that I am describing it, it makes perfect sense.
It was your first day on planet earth and ...
you had to wing it alone.
Speaking of winging it alone ... fast forward ...
You've just rushed in the door after school.
You have something to share. You are so excited. But no one even asks how your day went. You feel invisible, alone. Again, good or bad, you are well aware that in this life, yep, you've got it right: winging it alone.
Fast forward ...
It's middle school. Your body is changing, your hormones are raging.
The other kids aren't so nice anymore. Everywhere you look, somebody is getting hurt. Sometimes it's you. You wish you had someone to help you navigate the rough terrain between first and last period, not to mention all the changes you are going through. But ... winging it alone.
Fast forward ...
You've just had your first taste of "love" and it didn't work out so well.
You aren't sure how this was supposed to go. All you know is that you don't like the way it went. Your heart is broken. It hurts even more than before. You desperately wish there were a shoulder on which you could lay your weary head or a pair of strong steady hands to guide you.
Instead, you turn on yourself. By now you are old enough to blame someone and the best candidate you can find is looking back at you in the mirror.
You aren't just winging it on your own anymore. You have learned to savage yourself every time something goes wrong. Your heart grows a little dimmer, your hope a little further away. You become a little harder to touch, a little more withdrawn from love, even when it is available. You are not sure what love is anyway and you sure don't know how to love in return. You do your best to fake it. It's often not enough. And the hurt rolls on.
This is how it happens. The ways of lovelessness get passed unwittingly from generation to generation.
It's not just about hurt feelings. It's about devastation that extends out and into our actions and the choices we make.
But let's leave that for a moment!
For now I want you to imagine something else.
What if, step-by-step, through a carefully-crafted routine, you could go back in time, make friends with your young self and finally touch and heal the wounded heart of the child you were?
And wouldn't it be nice if you
didn't have to wing it alone anymore?
Wouldn't it be nice if you had a wing-woman instead?
Someone to wrap you
in the soft wings of love
and to hold you warm and steady
until you grow your own wings?
Before you answer these questions, let me tell you something about me:
When I was just a little kid, I was always the one looking out for the others. If I saw one person teasing or bullying someone else, I would step in. I didn't care what it cost me. By the time I was in the fourth grade, I already knew I wanted to be a social justice activist, and really, that's what I am (in an unexpected sort of way).
I call myself a Love Alchemist and that's because I help you add self-love to the mix of your life. Self-love is the secret ingredient that allows you to finally craft a life that loves you back. After all, like I always say, "Love is the gold the alchemists were seeking."
I can honestly tell you that self-love is the key to vast emotional riches.
Also, to put it bluntly, self-love won't let you take any S-H-I-T (imagine me spelling that out loud, at a whisper, of course). That's where the social justice part comes into my work.
In other words, in addition to helping you add the magic ingredient (self-love) to your life recipe ...